Twins are an incredible blessing and they present their own unique challenges. Although I spend an enormous amount of time with our children, I often end up feeling as though I am with everyone but no one. Children are talking over each other, vying for my attention, brimming with ideas that need to be heard, full of requests for help from Mommy. This is part of the joy of motherhood but with twins I sometimes feel worn thin and like I never really get to land with anyone. Carving out uninterrupted quality time with each child can be difficult but is essential for my relationship with each of my children. As twins, they arrive as a pair and it’s easy to group them together, making daily life easier in many ways. However, taking the time to just “be” with each of them, alone, perhaps not doing much of anything special but just having the uninterrupted one on one connection, is what makes me feel like I’ve really dropped in.

Days and weeks can go by without any of us getting that essential time together and when that happens, I can feel all of us running on empty. The children seem more sensitive, needy, and impossible to fill up. It’s incredible how just an hour of solid play time or a nice walk outside or even running errands with just one child can make us feel more connected and loved.

My solution for carving out this time is to break up the days and weeks on a calendar that’s posted in the kitchen where I am reminded each day and keep this idea a priority. It works well to have alternating time slots for each child and to discuss the calendar with them, including them in ideas and preferences. When it comes time for me to have alone time with one of them and the other feels left out, we go over to the calendar and review what yesterday looked like and what tomorrow will be like. Usually that goes a long way to remind that child that today is his turn to wait or play alone but tomorrow he will have Mommy Time and that’s how our family works.

This idea works wonderfully with siblings of all ages….try it! xxx, Leah

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