I have a daughter I like to call “stong-spirited.” Often times she wakes up saying
“NO!” in the middle of the night and the whole day can go like that. It can be exhausting. In my best moments, I greet the resistance with unconditional love and tolerance. I can see through to the other side of that strength and know that it is what makes a person interesting, self-directed, and often successful later in life. In my less perfect moments, I want to force my will upon her. It never turns
out well for either of us. This morning I found a wonderful passage in “The Parent’s Tao Te Ching” by William Martin. It’s a great book full of short but enlightened thoughts in the vein of the Tao.
Dealing with difficult children
is like watching a garden grow.
Resist the temptation
to pull up the plants
to check on the roots.
In difficult times
children may thrive on conflict.
If you take the bait
the battle rages.
Instead, step back,
breathe deeply,
and stay at your center.
Battles require two parties.
One fighting alone soon tires.
Are there times when,
despite all efforts,
you must impose your will?
Of course.
But remember,
those times are far fewer
than you can imagine.
Is this current battle really necessary?
Live with love. xxx, Leah

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